Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
