I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
North Korea, Best Korea!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
