haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
