I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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