turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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