ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
