i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
