I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
