I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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