i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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