I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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