Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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