I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My breasts were aching with rage.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize