My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
