Define "chronic" masturbator.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
