so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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