how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
COCAINE IS GR8
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize