and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
