There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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