she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
