the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
