Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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