New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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