i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
