She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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