Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
