the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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