fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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