My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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