I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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