My Higher Power is John Stamos
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
