Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize