I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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