You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
