You really coming over, don't trick.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
