i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
