is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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