It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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