i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
