She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
