Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize