If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
