i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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