was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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