i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
