i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
