my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize