it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
