Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize