In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
