ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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