giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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