You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
