Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
