I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
