is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
