Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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