My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
