It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
