Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
