Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
