She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
