Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize