i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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