i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
