I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
