Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He has the fingertips of a God
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