do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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