I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
