In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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