I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
