Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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