Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
