That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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